


What If - Parallel Series

by Human_____Person



Series: Parallel [3]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Love Victor (TV 2020), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Gay, M/M, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29494416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Human_____Person/pseuds/Human_____Person
Summary: Benji kisses Victor the night that they dance to Call Me Maybe and it all goes downhill from there.Another installment in the 'Parallel' series. I series of multiple storylines in parallel universes where sometime in the future they all eventually lead to the same thing. Read the other installments that are out now, 'Rendezvous," a drama piece, and "Afterglow," A sweet story between Benji and Victor.I just want to say thank you for all the support on my other Parallel pieces. I know, I know, I'm obsessed BUT in all fairness they left off on a massive cliffhanger AND I NEED MY GAY ROM-COM SHIP TO SAIL!(pretty short chapters :3)
Relationships: Andria - Relationship, Felake - Relationship, Venji
Series: Parallel [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171883
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	1. Brass Town

“5 hours of non-stop easy listening is, not so easy to listen to,” I say, voice getting higher as I finish the sentence

“Ugh, I know, if I hear one more gentle song about a girl forgiving her dad I will lose my mind,” Benji says, chuckling when he’s finished speaking.

“I know right? It’s like, people drink coffee to wake up."

“Yeah, well, Sarah’s not here, soo, if you have your phone I could connect it to the speakers and play something?”

“Um, yeah, yeah sure,” I say, pulling my phone out of my pocket and handing it to him.

I hear him chuckle, “Baby-shark is your most listened to song?” 

“I play it for my little brother!” I say, slightly panicking and also laughing, “and I may also find its predictability soothing.” We laugh as he selects Call Me Maybe through my phone and into the loud-speaker.

He starts dancing and looking at me with a ‘you’re so adorably stupid,’ look.

“So call me maybe,” he sings along, folding his arm up and down in the dead space between us.

“Ok, you’re making fun of me right now? Call Me Maybe was my jam when I was little, I made up this whole dance, used to crack my mom up.”

“Okay let’s see,” he says chuckling lightly.

“Seeeeee what?” I ask.

“Your dance! C’mon.”

“All I remember is it involved a lot of spinning and,” I hesitate before barely getting the words out, “rump-shaking.”

“Hmm, Well what like-like, like this?” He says right before shaking his ‘rump’ and cha-cha-ing with his arms.

“No-no-no-no-no-no no, like THIS you gotta put more RUMP in it,” I say, proceeding to shake and wave my arms side-to-side. We’re dancing full-on now through Brasstown and I hear my phone go off.

“Oh, your ferris wheel boo is texting you,” he says as he flips the phone over in my direction.

“Oh,” I say as I let out a hehe

“What’s the deal with you two anyway?” He asks, I wonder to myself if he wants to know because he’s into me but I assure myself it’s just wishful thinking. 

“I don’t know she’s cool, we’re go-” I’m cut off by Benji’s lips on mine. HOLY SHIT! I think to myself. I guess it wasn’t wishful thinking after all

“I’m sorry I ju-” Benji says before I cut him off with.

“Benji, it’s fine, don’t apologize,” I say, smiling.

“O-ok?” He says, looking really confused, “why are you fine with it?” 

‘Crap,’ I think to myself. I have no idea how to reply and I say something that I kind of wish I didn’t.

“It was just a kiss, I mean, it’s not like you like me or anything. I’m just here and we were having a moment. Kinda,” I say, when his eyes meet mine he speaks.

“Ye-yeah, you’re right,” He replies, I can tell that I hurt his feelings so I grab him and kiss him again, “You just said?” He says when we’ve separated.

“I know what I said,” I say, interrupting, “Spoiler alert, I lied.” I start laughing and so does he.

“Are you?” He asks.

“I think so, I’ve been confused with all of it for a while and I’m still figuring it out,” I say, slowing down my speech as my pitch heightens whilst I’m saying the words. “I’ve been meaning to tell Mia so that if I come to some conclusion she doesn’t exactly like then she’s not caught off-guard I just haven’t figured out how.”

Benji’s silent now, I’m guessing he’s not entirely sure what to say. He just kissed someone who then proceeded to say he ‘thinks he’s gay.’

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put you in an awkward position, I just, I do like you, but if you’re not even sure about yourself then I don’t wanna pressure you or anything,” He says, slightly panicky.

“No, Benji it’s not that. It’s just that I don’t know how I would even do this, my parents are real religious and I don’t want to tell them I’m anything other than the straight basketball ‘star’ they think I am. I’ve always just sort of pushed what I want deep down and focused on my family's problems,” I say, exhaling.

“Victor, you shouldn’t do that, there’s no way that’s healthy. I’m no psychologist but I can only assume that’s bad for your mental state,” He says to me, grabbing my shoulders.

“I know, but there’s not much else I can do, whenever I try to stop and focus on my own stuff there’s always something going on with someone else that I have to buffer.”

“Victor, your family’s problems are not yours, you need to confront your shit. Take something for yourself for once. Live for you, not for them,” He says, as he lets go of my shoulders and proceeds to wipe down the table next to him. For the rest of the night I think about what he said to me. About how I should take something for me, live for me, be for no one else other than me. I lay in bed, not able to sleep, I decide to text Mia and tell her how I’ve been feeling.

Me: Mia?

Mia: Hi Victor, what’s up?

Me: I wanted to talk to you about something. Could we call? It’ll be a lot to type.

Mia: Um, sure. Is everything okay?

Me: Yeah, yeah I just need to tell you something.

Mia: Alright…

“Hey, Mia,” I say as she answers the phone.

“Hi Victor, what did you want to say?” She asks, and it’s only then when I feel just how real this is about to become.

“Um, I-” I hesitate before saying the rest, “I’m sorry, I kind of led you on these past few days. I just wanted to say that I’m not entirely sure if I like girls yet? Like, in that way? And I just needed to tell you before you know, you or hell even I, got the wrong idea. I also think that we should maybe, pause all of this?” Well there it is, I actually said it.

“Oh I, uh, um,” she’s stammering for words now, “wow uh, okay? Well thanks for telling me now and not leading me on for any longer?” 

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“N-no, Victor, don't apologize for not being 100% sure of who you are yet, it’s fine, really! For the meantime, we can be friends, I hope?” She says, sounding equally as happy as before and I realize that maybe it wasn’t that bad for her to hear after all.

“Y-yeah! Of course, thank you for understanding,” I say, and then it hits me, she is LITERALLY the only person other than Benji and Simon who knows, “Uh, nobody really knows yet so I-” I get cut off.

“Don’t worry Victor, I’m not gonna tell anyone, this is your thing, only you choose who knows and when,” she says and I start tearing up.

“Thank you Mia,” I say, my voice cracking as I say ‘Mia.’

“I’ll uh, see you at school tomorrow,” she says cheerily.

“Goodbye Mia,” I manage to make out through silent joyful sobs. 

“Night Victor.”

I’m full on sobbing now and Pilar runs into my room after hearing me.

“VICTOR! What’s wrong?!” She yells, rushing in and sitting on my bed, instantly hugging me.

“I just, I can’t anymore,” I say between light cries.

“Can’t what?” She asks, “What can’t you do?”

“Promise not to tell mom and dad?” I ask, she nods and I tell her, “I think I’m,” I can barely say the words, “I think… ...I don’t think I’m” I exhale, “Straight.” I sigh with relief but think about how and why I’m avoiding the word ‘gay.’

“Wha- Victor? That’s,” she’s getting flustered now, clearly not knowing what to say, “I don’t know wha-”

“Don’t, Pilar, it’s fine. You don’t have to say anything like ‘I had no idea,’ Just say you love me and hug me,” I say, now sitting on my bed next to her.

“I love you Victor,” she says as she pulls me into her embrace.

I hear a knock on my door and wipe the tears from my eyes but apparently my eyelids are puffy because my mom takes notice and enters the room.

“Aye mijo, what’s wrong?” she asks, sounding genuinely worried.

“Nothing,” I say, still wiping tears off my face with the sleeve of my shirt, “I just had a bad day.”

“Oh mi amor, I’m so sorry,” she says, pulling me into a hug. 

Pilar looks at me with an apologetic expression on her face.


	2. Footsies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comment's. Give me ideas

I wake up and see that I only have 40 minutes before school. Leaving me enough time to do all the things I need to like shower and eat breakfast.

I shower and get dressed. I’m wearing a deep green T-shirt and on top of that my denim jacket. I go out to see everyone eating. Pilar is on her phone muttering something about our friends back in Graham.

“Hey,” I say while smirking slightly.

“Good morning mijo, how’d you sleep?” Mami asks, now looking up from her laptop and at me.

“Good,” I say, “I’m heading out soon.” Pilar looks up at me and gives me a slightly awkward smile before returning her gaze to her phone.  
I eat an apple before walking out of the room and into the hallway outside our apartment as fast as socially possible. I remember to say “Bendicion!” before leave, if I don’t then they’ll instantly know something is up.

I walk out of the complex and wait out front for Felix who hadn’t come to my door this morning. It’s about ten minutes before he walks out yawning.

“Hey man, sorry about that, I slept in. I went to your door and your mom said you were already gone, glad I caught you,” He says, looking half-asleep.

“It’s fine, I was just waiting out here, I’m trying to avoid them right now,” I say with a dead expression on my face.

“Why?” He asks.

“It’s nothing, just a little uncomfortable right now.” I’m hesitant to tell him because I don’t really think I’m ready for everyone to know so I’m leaving it at Benji and Mia for now. I think about Benji again and smile. I text him.

Me: Morning ;)

Benji: Hey, I just wanted to apologize for last night again. I shouldn’t have done that, not sure if you already know but I’m actually in a relationship and I’m feeling a little conflicted now. Thanks for that btw.

Me: Hey, you’re the one who kissed me. 

Benji: yeah yeah yeah.

Me: Ha. And you don’t need to apologize, it’s not like I’m looking for a relationship with you or anything.

My own words cut so deep and I think, wow, I’m not good at lying, even to myself.

Benji: Great.

I don’t know how but even though I’m only reading it from a screen he on some level feels the same way but can’t admit it. I’m not even sure what I feel though so I leave it at that and I don’t think about it anymore than I already have.

I hear Felix talking but don’t know what he’s saying.

“What?” I ask, trying to sound like I was paying attention. 

“Nothing. Hey are you okay? You’re acting differently. Did something happen?” Felix asking. Look, Felix is awesome and my best friend but he can be really nosey. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” I say. I think he can clearly tell that I’m lying but he just nods and we walk in silence to school

* * * *

We get to school within ten minutes and after the warning bell rings I make my way to Health with Felix. We bump into Mia and Lake on the way and Felix can clearly not keep his cool.  
Mia gives me a look that says ‘I got you,’ and we start walking as a group. Ms. Thomas is in a bad mood today but that’s not new. Since I got here she’s come off as just an angry person in general.  
I honestly didn’t hear any of what she said. My mind was back on Benji and his dumb smile. Thinking about him smiling makes me smile and Felix notices. 

“What’re ya smiling at?” He whispers, leaning over to me. He snaps me out of my ‘Benji trance’ and I jump. 

“Oh, I uh- nothing,” I say, getting flustered. I can feel my cheeks flustering. 

He asks me if I’m thinking about Mia and I tell him that I was just remembering a really funny scene from a show. 

“Alrriiiighhht,” he says, smiling and singing playfully. 

Surprisingly Ms. Thomas hasn’t heard us yet. She’s too busy sitting at her desk frowning while reading. 

* * *

It's lunch now and I sit down next to Felix. Soon, Mia, Lake, AND Benji have sat down with us. I try not to look super visibly happy to see Benji but I can’t help but look straight at him. He winks which I take as a good sign and I proceed to eat my lunch.

“So uh, Benji I hear you’re playing with your band at that Battle Of The Bands thing tomorrow?” Lake asks, trying to start a conversation.

“Uh well, we were but we’re down a person. My ex was on bass and well. That speaks for itself.”

“Ex?” I ask.

“Uh yeah. We broke up this morning. I called him before school and told him that I couldn’t stay with someone who I felt like I had to hold my breath around,” He says, looking directly at me, “He used to get on my case for the things I liked and I just said I couldn’t take it anymore.”

I smile slightly to myself and thank god no one sees but I can’t help but feel slightly guilty. What if they broke up because of me? If I hadn’t, if we hadn’t. My thoughts are interrupted by Lake suggesting we hang out tonight at the Battle Of The Bands.

“I’m down,” Benji says

Felix looks at me, “Do you wanna go?”

“Ye-yeah, sure…” I say

“I’m in,” Mia says looking at Lake.

“Great!” Lake squeals.

I feel my foot get bumped against something and when I look up I see Benji smiling right at me.  
I smile back and we continue to eat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events leading up to battle of the bands go down a little differently and Benji doesn't perform.

I get home and immediately choose something to wear to the Battle Of The Bands tonight and when I finally choose something I like I’m relieved. It’s a navy purple button-up shirt that I leave the first few buttons undone from. I go with jett black jeans with a tear in the left knee. I think to myself ‘this doesn’t look like me,’ which I LOVE. ‘Me’ was actually ‘me trying to please everyone else except for myself’ and now, I see something that I like. Like Benji said, I should take something for me, so I do.  
I get a text from Felix.

Felix: I have a plan to win Lake’s heart, and if I’m lucky, all her other organs too.

Me: That’s… ...Random, what is it?

Felix: Battle Of The Bands! I’m performing!

Me: You’re in a band?

Felix: Well I’m a DJ, which is even better because DJs make music, into more music.

Me: I’m sure it’ll go great ;)

Felix: I just have to figure out my disguise.

Me: ?

Felix: Y’know, Daft Punk? They wear futuristic helmets?

Me: ahhhh…

Felix: I think I have the perfect idea.

Me: What is it?

Felix: It’s a surprise but I’ll give you a hint. It gonsta be bombing… ...Y’know, in a good way.

Me: Alright then :/

Felix: I’m picking you up at 8:30 right?

Me: See you at 8:25

Felix: You are NEVER gonna let me live that down are you?

Me: Not

Me: A

Me: Chance…

* * * * 

I hear a knock on the door and I answer. It’s Felix, obviously.

“Whoah, you look really good, when did you get a new wardrobe attitude?” He asks, gesturing from my head to my toe.

“Just… ...felt like trying something new I guess,” I say. That’s not the reason at all though, I’m dressed like this to impress Benji.

“Well you are rocking the look.”

“Th-thanks, should we go?” I ask, desperately wanting to divert attention from my chest as the first three buttons aren’t done up and I’m just waiting for the uncomfortable comment.

“Sure and nice chest!” He says pointing at the fairly small patch of skin.  
And there it is.

“Thanks,” I say, clearly exhibiting my discomfort.

“Sorry…”

“No, no it’s fine I just don’t usually get complimented on my chest,” I say, blushing.

“Well now you can say you have.” He smiles and we start walking.

* * * *

When we walk into Brasstown it looks completely different. Chairs and tables are gone, there’s a stage?! Did we always have a stage in here that I just never noticed?  
I see Benji standing with Lake and Mia across the room and he waves. I wave back smiling and head over there.

“I’m gonna head to the back to prepare,” Felix says, holding his equipment and walking around the countertop and through to the back room.  
I turn around to face him and mouth ‘okay.’

I turn back around only to see Benji standing right behind me.

“Hey,” he says.

“H-hi,” I say, now blushing, “Do you want to?” I say pointing over at the spot that Mia and Lake are standing at.

“Oh, yeah, come on,” He says, putting a hand on my back. Normally I’d feel weird about someone touching me with no warning but I don’t flinch. I don’t twitch, I just leave it. It’s comforting.

“Ooooo, someone’s looking nice tonight!” Lake says, “Mia, you are so lucky.”

“Um,” she says chuckling as she looks at the floor. I quickly change the subject.

“Do you guys wanna get food after this?” I ask.

“Sure I’m down,” Benji says, smiling at me. I think Mia is picking up on the flirting because her gaze darts back and forth between us.

“UGH YES!” Lake says really enthusiastic, “Hot dad neighbour is out of town so I have no plans tonight.”  
I can’t help but laugh which makes Benji smile.

“So, Mia, you in?” I see Lake nudge at Mia who is zoned off

“Oh, what?” She says, returning to the conversation.

“Food?” Lake asks, looking slightly worried. Clearly Lake hasn’t caught on to Benji and I and our awkward ass interaction so far which makes me feel a little better.

“Oh, uh, y-yeah, sure,” she says stammering for words.

“OKAY! FIRST UP, PHARMASCUETAKILL!” Sarah yells through the mic.

“Who’s that?” I ask, an oblivious look on my face.

“Kieran and Teddy, Andrew told me about it in the office today after I gave a frog a smokey eye,” Lake says, nodding and frowning towards the end of her statement.

“Oh that’s, random,” I say.

“OMG THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” Lake says.

Teddy and Kieran do an excruciating set of mostly screaming and then Sarah announces the next band.

“OKAY! NEXT UP, DJ-F BOMB!” She yells and steps off the stage.

A second later, someone wearing a giant bomb on their head. I immediately recognize the voice.  
Felix.

“This one goes out to a very special lady,” He says, sounding slightly muffled through the giant ball he’s wearing on his head. It starts off sounding pretty good until it doesn’t. The fast-paced song that was previously playing is now switching back and forth between a slow-song and everyone is booing.

“Yeah!” I hear him say and I cup my eyes with my left hand.

The rest of the so-called ‘bands’ play their sets and once it’s all over people start clearing out.

I see Felix walk over to Lake and start talking.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” He says.

“Um, I don’t even think I saw you up there. But you must’ve been better than the guy with the giant bowling ball on his head.”

“R-right, yeah, that guy was terrible.”

“Yeah, it’s a shame too because I actually like DJs, they make music into more music.”

“I ALWAYS say that!” Felix says, sounding overly happy.

“Well, great minds Felix, great minds.”

“You know my name…”

“Yeah,” She replies, in a voice that reads ‘duh.’


	4. Finn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brasstown is officially nicknamed the Cafgay now when Finn Addison starts working there.

I wake up relieved that it’s Saturday. I lay in bed for a few minutes before actually getting up and ready for the day. Benji and I both have a shift from noon to close. I hope I can tell him how I feel tonight if not sooner. I’ve finally been able to come to terms with everything and I’m even thinking of telling Felix and everyone else. Being everyone else at school at least. I’m still really worried about telling my family and how they’ll react when I tell them. I did some research though and then told Simon all about it. I still don’t know if I’m… ...I like guys, maybe I’m Pansexual? Or Bisexual (writer’s note: I am!) Still 100% sure I don’t like feet though. That was really weird.

I get to Brasstown and see that Benji is already standing behind the counter serving people. I walk behind and he greets me.

“Hey Victor,” He says, gesturing to a light wave.

“H-hi,” I say awkwardly. I walk to the back.  
I slide my apron on and proceed out to the counter.

“Order up,” Benji says, handing me a receipt. It’s two maple coffee’s, banana bread, and a brownie.  
I make the coffee while Benji takes in orders.

“Finn, you’re late!” Benji yells across the cafe, it doesn’t seem to phase anyone else in the shop and we continue. I have NO idea who ‘Finn’ is.

“Sorry, I know I know but I thought my shift started at one and I missed the ‘2’ on the ‘12:00’ schedule.

“It’s fine, just go help Victor,” Benji says, gesturing a thumb my way directed at the coffee machine. “Victor, can you make sure that the newbie doesn’t blow up the machine?”

“I-I just started working here this week I barely know how to do anything,” I say, stammering for words.

“Well, that’s more than this guy so…”  
I swallow and nod.

The Finn guy walks over and he seems to be chill but he’s tiny and scrawny and looks really awkwards. He reaches a hand out.

“Finley Addison,” he says, indicating a handshake. I comply. 

“Victor,” I say. I teach him how to use the coffee machine but I wonder why he doesn’t already know how to do it. I thought that Benji taught all the new trainees the same way he taught me. Maybe he was trying something new.  
Something about him feel’s familiar. ‘Did I meet someone named Finn Addison before?’ I ask myself in my head. And then I remember. Simon! SIMON WAS OUTED BY SOMEONE NAMED MARTIN ADDISON. To get confirmation I ask some questions.

“Hey Finn? Any siblings?” I ask, trying to look intrigued rather than like I’m interrogating him.

“Uh yeah, two older brothers. One just graduated college and the other is in his third year. Martin and Jacob.”

Holy shit. This guy is Martin Addison's younger brother. I run, I just remove my apron and run. I run out of the cafe gasping for air on the curb. Within seconds I hear the bell jingle again and it’s Benji. I can feel tears start to come to my eyes and I don’t even know why. I never knew Martin, I don’t even really know who he is. But the thought of working with someone with relations to the guy who outed my friend everyday, it makes me feel nauseous.

“Hey, Vic what’s wrong?” Benji asks.

I tell him everything, about how Simon and I have been messaging ever since I moved to Atlanta. All of it.

“Holy crap, so Finn is the brother of the guy who outed Simon?” 

“Y-yeah, I just, I have enough going on at home and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I’m sorry,” I say, still managing to hold back tears. Maybe this is partly about my family? I don’t know. All I do know is that when Benji hugs me all my problems melt away. I hug him back and we stand there at the curb for almost three minutes before going back in.

“Okay is everything alright?” Finn asks, looking really confused.

“Maybe you should come back some other time,” Benji say’s with a hand on my back.

“Al-alright, may I ask why?” He says, sounding confused.

“Maybe ask Martin,” I mutter. Somehow he heard because this set’s him off.

“I knew this would happen,” he says looking at the ceiling. “Look, what Martin did was wrong, ok, and there’s no excuse. In fact I still haven’t forgiven him. Both Jacob and I are gay and I was closeted when the Spier situation went down. I still don’t talk to him because of what he did. I don’t know what you two think but I’m not Martin. I would NEVER do that, to anyone, for any reason. I keep getting judged because of what he did, it’s why I switched schools.”

“Oh my go- I had no idea. I’m so sorry, it’s just, Simon's my friend and I really thought that you would be like the new Martin or something? I shouldn’t have assumed anything. I can’t even imagine what you coming out must’ve been like. I’m afraid to say the words to my religious parents but you. Your brother outed someone to divert attention away from his own stuff I just can’t-”

“Look, it… ...It’s fine, but can you maybe finish teaching me how to use this because I still am oblivious,” he says, laughing while pointing to the coffee machine.

“Yeah, yeah here.” I show him how to run the machine and we actually have fun.

* * * *

I think that it’s a huge coincidence that everyone except for Sarah here is gay. It’s hilarious.  
WAIT, I SAID IT! I think to myself. I smile and Benji nudges me.

“What’re you so happy about?” He asks. I look around and no one is here. We’ve closed and Finn is in the back.

“This,” I say as I pull him in to kiss. I run a hand through the hair on the back of his head, he grabs the arm on the hand that’s on his head and when we finally separate we both exhale with deep breaths.

“Wow,” I say.

“Yeah,” Benji replies, biting his lower lip.

“I-I, uh, I’m sorry,” Finn says.

I can’t help but laugh.  
“No, don’t apologize, it’s fine,” I say, gesturing for him to come over here and help us clear tables.

“So, are we just a gay coffee shop or?” Finn says, smiling, gesturing between the three of us. Benji and I laugh and look at each other and then at Finn.

“Well, we are but we don’t know about Sarah. Personally, until someone says otherwise I always assume everyone is pan,” Benji says, looking directly at Finn.

“That’s very non-heteronormative of you,” Finn says, “How about you Victor? What’s your default.”

I panic but say, “I grew up in a religious household as I said so everything has always been Straight, Cisgender, Gender-stereotypes.” I can’t believe what I’m saying. It feels nice, to use proper vocabulary. All that research really paid off.

“Man that sucks, but you know what’s worse?” He asks, looking at me, “THIS MUSIC GAHHH!!”

“Here, let me play something,” I say, pulling out my phone. I connect it to the speakers via Bluetooth and choose shuffle on my Apple Music, praying it doesn’t play Baby Shark.  
My prayers are answered as it plays ‘Wild Things by Alessia Cara.”

“So hey, we brought our drum and this is how we dance  
No mistakin', we make our breaks, if you don't like our 808s,” Benji starts singing as he dances. I start singing along with him and the next thing I know I’m completely lost in it.

“Then leave us alone, 'cause we don't need your policies  
We have no apologies for being Find me where the wild things are Find me where the wild things are,” Benji and are singing and dancing in perfect sync and I look over at Finn who’s just smiling at us.  


“Why are you smiling?” I ask, Benji has stopped dancing and is looking at me now, “What? You guys are scaring me…”  


“VICTOR?! You sounded amazing!” Benji says, as he grabs me for a hug.  


“Yeah, what? You sing?” Finn asks, “I’m learning a lot about you two today…”  


“Well I didn’t know that I sang but I guess I do?” I ask.  
As Benji let’s me go he says, “You’re a great singer! You and I have to do something sometime.”  


“O-ok, yeah!” I say, I really had no idea that I had a singing voice.  


“Benji I,” I say, trying to say the words, “I like you, like, really like you. Do you want to?” I’m cut off by Benji.  


“I would love to, how does tomorrow for lunch work?” Benji asks, a finger hovering in front of my lips.  


“Y-yeah!” I say enthusiastically, he leans in for a small kiss and Finn can’t help but ‘awwwwwwwwww’  



	5. Oh Shit...

I get home and I’m instantly greeted by Pilar.

“Where have you been? Mom found out,” she says. I start panicking and my breathing quickens and I can feel beads of sweat forming.

“W-what? Why’d you tell her??” I ask.

“Vic I didn’t, she said she saw you and Benji,” She says.

“Is it bad? Is she angry?” I ask, I’m full-on hyperventilating now.

“What? No, Vic, she loves you, she’s worried because Papi wants to tell Abuelita Nati and Tito,” she says, quickly turning pale. I wonder why she looks like she’s about to throw up. “Vic you should know, they’re not mad they just don’t   
want to have to lie to Abuelita and Tito, that’s the only reason they’re discussing it..”

“O-ok, where are they?” 

“They’re in their room arguing, Victor before you rush in there, I need you to know. Whatever happens, I will always love you,” Pilar says right before hugging me. It’s so weird to see her showing any emotion other than anger or angst.

“I-I know…”  
I walk over to Mami and Papi’s room and knock on the door.

“Pilar we’re busy!” Mami calls out.

“Mom, it-it’s me,” I reply.  
Within five seconds she’s opened the door and is pulling me into a hug.

“Mijo I-”

“Mom, it’s fine, please, I’m tired. Can you just say exactly what you need to without the extra filler?”

“Victor I don’t know what to say. I saw you and that boy, I just need you to know that we love you for you, and this doesn’t change that,” Mom says, starting to tear up as she hugs me again.

“M-mom, I,” I say, trying to search for the words, “I’m gay.”

“I know, I know mijo, come here,” She says, pulling me into a THIRD hug. I look over to my dad who’s crying and I can’t tell if it’s joyful crying or that he’s upset at the news. I can’t imagine it’s good.

“D-dad?” I ask, full-on trembling. He looks away from me and mom starts tearing up. Pilar said that he was fine?? “Please, say something.” I’m in tears now and he just turns around, sitting on the bed now facing away from us.

“Can you give us a moment mijo?” Mami asks, grabbing my shoulder with her left hand and stroking my cheek with her right thumb.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll go,” I say, turning around and going into my room. I close the door and fall onto my bed and burst into tears. Within minutes Pilar is knocking on my door asking for entry.

“I just want to be alone right now Pilar,” I say, not trying to conceal my emotions in any way shape-or-form.

“Vic, just let me sit with you, please,” she asks, already sitting on my bed, legs-crossed at the end.

“Fine, but I don’t want to talk,” I say, voice cracking.

“That’s alright, I’ll just chill here.”

“O-K,” I mouth. I think to myself about how I need to talk to someone but I just told Pilar that I didn’t want to so I grab my phone and think about who to text. I text Mia. I don’t want to bother Benji with my drama and Felix doesn’t know.

Me: I just came out to my parents… Kinda

Mia: Oh, oh my god Victor that’s great! Wait, it is great right?

Me: Idk, my mom seems to be fine but my dad won't talk to me

Mia: Oh no, Victor I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say… I can only imagine what this must be like for you…

Me: Yeah, it’s pretty shitty. You’re the only other person who knows aside from Pilar and Benji. Well, now my parents too.

Mia: Maybe you should get some sleep. Goodnight.

Me: Night…

I know I’m not getting to sleep tonight. Pilar is still here, sitting at the foot of my bed on her phone.  
I tell Pilar I want to go to bed and she leaves, clearly seeing right through me. She doesn’t put up a fight or anything, she just leaves. I toss and turn in my sheets for about an hour before pulling out my iPad and watching TV until I get sleepy…

It doesn’t work and I’m up all night agonizing over what’s to come in the morning…


	6. Good Morning Agony

I walk out of my room, still in my pajamas and I see mami and papi talking in the living room.

“Morning mijo!” My mom calls out.

“Hey,” I mouth, clearly uncomfortably. I grab an apple and eat it fast. I turn around and proceed to walk back to my room as quickly as socially respectable.

“Hey, come, uh, come back here,” Papi gestures with his hands for me to turn around.

“O-okay?” I question with a confused expression on my face and voice.

“So um,” he gulps, “Mami and I have been talking and I, we, think that we should look into a place where people can help you um. Where people can help you find your way back.”

I look at my mom who looks like she might cry, I can tell she doesn’t agree with him in the slightest.

“Find my way back to what?” I question, a curious tone in my voice now.

“Look I know that you think you’re,” He hesitates but I step in before he can say it.

“Gay?” I ask, when I say it he looks at the floor in disgust.

“But we can help you get back to normal,” He says.

I look at him like I seriously might throw him out the window.  
“Okay, first off I don’t think I’m gay, I know I am, you can’t ‘think,’ just like how it’s not my decision, it’s just me. And secondly, normal? This is my normal, for the first time I feel normal, I know who I am,” I say, raising my voice towards the end.

“O-O-O-OK THIS IS NOT NORMAL!” He yells.

“Armando, shh, you’re gonna wake them up,” Mami says, gesturing to Pilar and Adrian’s room’s doors.

“Look, dad I know this isn’t what YOU want, but this isn’t your life, you aren’t living it and you don’t get to make my decisions,” I yell.

“WELL THEN YOU DON’T GET TO MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS!” My dad screams.

“I don’t even recognize you!” I exclaim, with a disgusted tone, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for work.”

“No, you are NOT walking away from this conversation,” He yells, I’m already walking away, ignoring him.

I don’t actually have work today, I just need an excuse to leave the house with a bag, I know where this is going. He wants me to do conversion therapy and so I have to leave before he gets the chance to send me.  
I pack my iPad, laptop, the proper cables, and as many clothes I can pack into the small backpack. My mom walks in and sees me packing.

“Mijo please don’t go,” Mami yells, clear fear in her voice.

“I’m not staying here with,” I hesitate before gesturing with my hand towards the living room where I assume my father is still sitting, “That!”

“I-”

I finish packing and speak, “If you love me, you will let me go, I’ll call you when I get to wherever I’m going…”

She doesn’t speak, instead, she points her arm toward the door indicating that I can leave.

“Hey dad?” I ask before walking out the door, I stand there with my hand on the knob for a few seconds. 

“What?” He yells at me, clear anger in his voice. 

“You know what, nevermind…”

He starts talking but I slam the door before he can speak.

* * * *

I’ve just been walking for thirty minutes. Pondering over where I can go. I finally go to Brasstown and sit at a table for another ten minutes contemplating whether or not I text Benji or Simon first.

Me: Hey, I’m at Brasstown, can you meet me here? I need to talk to you and I don’t wanna do this via text.

Benji: Ofc, see you in 15 ;)

Me: :)

I text Simon next.

Me: Hey so uh, I just sorta came out?

Simon: OMG VIC THAT’S GREAT!!

Me: Not great :/

Simon: Aw jeez, are you alright? 

Me: Well considering that my dad tried sending me to a conversion facility and my mom was too scared to defend me and I HAVEN’T broken down in tears in the middle of a coffee shop, pretty good?

Simon: SHIT GIRL THAT GOT REAL - Justin

Simon: But srsly, are you alright, are you planning on going home?

Me: Today? Hard no, sometime? Hopefully…

Simon: I’m really sorry, let me know if you need help and I’m sure we can arrange something.

Me: Thanks, I’ll keep you updated on the sitch…

Yes when I send the final message Benji enters the cafe and sees me. He waves and walks over to me and sits down. I hear someone snicker from across the cafe. Kieran and Teddy are laughing. 

“Looks like Salazar’s getting some action!” Kieran yells, whooping and clapping.

Just to piss him off I kiss Benji, give him a thumbs up and say “Clearly more than you..”  
I hear Teddy hiss and go oooooo.

“Shut up,” Kieran says, hitting Teddy on the arm.

Now, Benji is laughing at them.  
“Nice one,” He says to me, resting his palm on my hand that’s set on the tabletop.

I look at him and smile. We stay like that until it’s interrupted by Pilar entering the shop.  
I stand.

“Pilar? What’re you doing here?” I sound like I’m interrogating her.

“Vic, Papi’s leaving, yeah he uh. He just left. Didn’t pack a bag, just up and left. He and mom got into a really bad fight. Mom wanted you to come back and dad well,” She sounds really sad, “didn’t. Anyway, mom wanted to come down here to tell you to come back home but Adrian was having a meltdown, dad really scared him. So I offered.”

“I-” I can’t even say anything but I finally find words, “I’m sorry Pilar, if I just hadn’t done anything things would all be normal I.”

“Shhh, Victor stop, this is not on you, you’re just being honest with who you are. This is all on Papi, come home.” Pilar is now grabbing the sides of my upper arms.

“I, what if he comes back?”

“Then we’ll defend you!” Pilar yells, everyone in the cafe has diverted their gaze towards us and Benji is still sitting watching the whole thing unravel.

“I’ll come back later tonight, I can’t face it now, I just… ...Need a break,” I croak out, voice cracking as tears come to my eyes. Pilar notices my eyes filling and pulls me into her embrace. I almost break down right there but there are still a bunch of people in the cafe. I gesture for her to sit down since we’re still standing really close to the entry and I’d rather not get yelled at by angry patrons who want their ‘wake up juice,’ as Sarah calls it…

“Does that mean I can tell mom you’ll be back?” Pilar questions, a glint of curiosity in her eyes.

“You can… ...MAKE SURE that if Papi comes back you don’t tell him I’m planning on returning. If I get home and he’s there I’ll leave… ...Again,” I explain. She answers with a nod, “great…”

Pilar leaves and Benji just sits there staring at me. I reach into the front pocket of my backpack and pull out my biology homework. My bio teacher decided to drop a massive bomb that is thirty pages of reading from the textbook, a summative PLUS a culminating. The reading which is FOR the summative and the summative itself are due on Monday and the culminating next Friday. I get started on the reading.

“Is this okay?” I ask Benji who’s sitting there, looking at me with a smile on his face.

“Of course! Here, I’ll get some coffee,” Benji exclaims, clapping his hands together and standing up. “What do you want?”

“Uh, same as always?” I ask, presuming he knows what that is. Sure enough, he does because when he comes back to the table he’s carrying an iced coffee with no milk. He has something in a mug so I’m assuming it’s either a latte or a normal roast. “Thank you,” I say, cupping the plastic cup in my hands.

“No problem.”

It’s been almost twenty minutes and I’ve finally finished my coffee, “Want something else?” Benji calls out, taking one earbud out. I lowkey forgot that he was there but it’s nice of him to put up with my neglecting attitude while I work on this.

“Uh, sure but I can pay, you already got-”

“Vic, it’s fine, I make a shit-ton here anyway. Actually, I may not even need to pay…”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see, what do you want?” He asks me, smiling. I’ve already had coffee so I settle on a smoothie, strawberry banana to be exact. He goes behind the counter and enters the backroom.  
Next thing I know he’s wearing an apron and pulling ingredients out. I start chuckling and he winks at me.

“What are you doing back here? You don’t work today?” Alicia sounds really angry.

“Making stuff for Victor and I…”  
She doesn’t reply, she just rolls her eyes and I start silently cackling which makes Benji chuckle. Within three minutes he’s back at the table with our drinks. He plops a plate down on the table next to me.

“I’m assuming you didn’t eat?” He asks me, arms folded on the table.

“Don’t tell me you stole that,” I say laughing.

“No! I left three ninety nine in the register…”  
I’m full-on laughing now but clearly not overly-loud because at least people don’t look this time.

“Thank you,” I say, grabbing the fritter and continuing to jot notes onto a piece of paper. My handwriting is messy but at least I can read it. The final project is all one digitally anyway so it won’t matter.

Benji hands me an ear phone, they’re wireless so at least he’s not gonna be struggling to use his phone if I take the offer which I do. Playing through his phone right now is ‘Train Wreck by James Arthur.”  
The song finishes quickly and it starts playing ‘Can I Be Him by James Arthur.’

“Bit of a James Arthur fan aren’t we?” I question looking at him with a big smirk on my face.

“Uh, yeah, no shit. James Arthur is amazing,” He says through bursts of laughter.  
We’re both laughing and then he leans in to kiss me.

Almost instantly after we separate there’s a lady standing over us.

“You boys shouldn’t be doing that!” She yells

“Doing what exactly?” Benji asks with a chuckle, clearly knows what she means.

“That, kissing,” I’m a regular in this coffee shop and I don’t want to have to see THAT!”

“Sorry, but I’m not listening to an angry old woman who doesn’t want me to kiss my boyfriend,” Benji says, grabbing my hand.

“Excuse me?” She asks, “You may not speak to me that way, I want to speak to the manager, this is unacceptable!”

“You really have no idea about the staff here do you?” I ask, looking at her like she’s stupid. “He is the manager, so scurry off,” I say, waving her as a gesture for her to get away.

“Assistant manager,” Benji quickly adds. “And if you have an issue with my boyfriend and I being together, you can leave. We both work here and we’re not doing anything bad. If you have an issue with us, that’s your problem, not ours. PLUS, you are actually bothering EVERYONE else here, claiming that we’re bothering you so I could actually tell you to leave.”

“I, I uh wel-”

The lady is quickly cut off by Benji, “So what’s it gonna be?”

She returns to her seat and looks like she might kill someone when she sits down with another old woman. I lean in to kiss him, mostly because the way he handled that was hot but also because I just really want to piss her off now.  
I resume my reading and answering of textbook questions and I’m finished within a half hour.

“All done!” I squeal with joy.

“Amazing, do you wanna go somewhere?” Benji asks me, looking straight into my soul with his eyes.

“Where?” I question, slightly tilting my head.

“Anywhere you want…”

I smile and start packing stuff into my bag, “I think I have an idea!”


	7. Benji I...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short fluff chapter. Though, Benji and Victor do say SOME important story stuff but it's mostly sweet fluff...

“Actually, can we stay for a few minutes? I’m gonna download something on Netflix so we can watch it off wifi in case we end up like lying in a field somewhere or something,” I ask, my voice getting slightly higher towards the end of my statement. I’m not sure WHERE we would go to lie in a field, Atlanta is metropolitan and ShadyCreek is just a small suburb so it’s not like there’s a whole lotta country out here.

“Smart,” Benji replies with a wink, sitting back down.  
I pull out my iPad and start the download on Lucifer season five. I primarily watch it because, Tom Ellis, hot, but also it’s a fairly intriguing story…

“Is Lucifer okay?” I ask Benji and he immediately looks up at me.

“Y-yeah, that works…”

* * * *

We’ve been walking for almost a half-hour talking and laughing and I finally realize that he’s holding my hand. I didn’t notice before, I look down at our intertwined fingers.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… ...It was ju-”

“Benji, shut up. I want you to hold my hand, I just didn’t realize you were until now…”

“Are you sure? I just, I don’t want to pressure you,” Benji is so fucking sweet. 

“Look, I’m fairly new here, nobody has really had any time to have preconceived any assumptions about me. Better now than later.”

“Ok,” He says, smiling.

We continue to walk and eventually end up at a sports complex. In it, a skating rink and some other things like concession stands and a basketball court. Outside, baseball diamond, tennis court, playground, and a HUGE soccer field, I guess the field thing might just happen.

“Come on,” I scream with an ear-to-ear smile, dragging Benji over to the centre of the field and laying down on the fresh grass. It just turned spring and there are tulips blooming in the communal garden to our left so we lie down facing that way. I prop my iPad up and within three seconds Benji is on the ground spooning me.

“This is alright, right?” He asks, getting slightly flustered.

“Obviously,” I reply with a big smile on my face and I give him a small and quick kiss. I start the show and only twenty minutes in Benji’s already asleep.  
He did tell me he got practically no sleep but I didn’t think he would actually fall asleep. I’m still in his embrace and so I put the iPad away as slow and gently I can so I’m not to phase his slumber.

We lay there for about an hour, still no interruption but soccer season doesn’t start til June so we don’t have to worry about that. We’re in a fairly isolated area, the massive garden to our left only a few metres away and then to our right there’s soccer nets and then the complex.  
No one comes, and Benji wakes up.

“Hey,” He asks groggily, squinting, the sun is covered by a cloud in current time but quickly gets unsheathed. “Did I fall asleep?”  
I laugh, “you snore you know?”

“Oh do I?” I’m sitting up now but he pulls me down so that I’m laying on top of him and he kisses me. He runs a hand through my hair and I’m grabbing the other one, pinning it to the ground. We stay like this for almost three minutes before I roll off of him and catch my breath.

“Well, I’m DEFINITELY awake now!” Benji blurts. I can’t help but laugh. I’m full-on cackling now and Benji is on his side wrapping his arms around me. We’re just laying side-by-side now looking at each other.

“I think I love you Benji,” I giggle and then cover my mouth with my hand. “OMG I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD! OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY!” I retort.

“Victor, VICTOR! It’s okay, hey look at me.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe I just said that to you.”

“Ha, Victor it’s fine,” He looks down at the ground before saying something else, “I…” He hesitates, “I love you too,” He says smiling and chuckling.

“Don’t do this to me Benji,” I barely manage to make out the words through solid laughter

“Do what?”  
“Make me love you,” I say smiling, tears coming to my eyes as I lean in to kiss him.

“Too late,” He smiles as he giggles.

“I love you Benji Campbell.”

“I love you Victor Salazar…


	8. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter while my Media Arts teacher talked about cropping photos.  
> Your welcome (he was just talking about his children)
> 
> ENJOY!  
> Comments gimme dat feedback :3
> 
> <3

I hesitate before knocking. Benji walked me home and is waiting outside in case I need to stay gone. I don’t want to barge into the apartment so I knock and Mami answers.

“AYE MIJO!” She yells as she pulls me into a hug.

“Mami, where’d Papi go? Why did he leave?” I ask, laying all cards on the table and cutting right to the chase.

“He left because,” she gulps but then says it, “He said he ‘didn’t want anything to do with me if I support you’.”

“Wait so?”

“Yes mijo, I’m fine with all of it, I was just afraid of your papi.”

“But it’s not like he would get violent with you?” I ask as she gestures for me to sit on the couch. I plop my backpack on the floor next to the seat and she continues.

“Well, you didn’t see how angry he was, after you left he just. Snapped.” She’s starting to tear up and so I hug her.

“I’m sorry Mami, none of this would’ve happened if I just hid it. I’m so sorry,” I’m in full tears because of what I just said. I didn’t mean it, I’m just trying to console her so she doesn’t think it’s her fault.

“No, no Victor, him leaving, his reaction, that’s all him. I’m glad you told us…” 

“Even if that means Papi hates me?” I say, I’m speaking mid sobs with tears streaking down my face.

“Aye, no, he doesn’t hate you. He’s just, he needs some time.”

“Mami, be honest, no amount of time will make him feel any differently.”

“Maybe so, but if that’s the case then that’s it. You are our child and I will protect you no matter what, end of story.”

“Mom,” I cry, I’m just sobbing into her shoulder now and she’s rubbing my back.

“Go unpack, say hi to Pilar and Adrian, and welcome home,” she tells me, letting me go and smiling.

“Actually, there’s someone I wanted you to meet.”

“Ok? Who?”

“You know that boy that you,” I swallow, “saw me with?”

“Oh are you telling me?” she looks at me with a mischievous look in her eye.

“Yeah,” I say.

“When?” she asks me, “sorry, I mean when do you want me to meet him?”

“I was uh, thinking now?”

“Wha-” she gasps, “He’s here?”

“Waiting for me outside in case I had to, you know, run away?”

“Oh my goodness.”

“Can I just go down and talk to him and bring him up?”

“Of course, mijo. I can’t believe you have a boyfriend!” She squeals, hugging me. I figured she’d be fine with it but I didn’t think she’d be THIS fine with it.

* * *

“Hey…” Benji greets me as I walk out.

“Hi, so um, my mom wants to meet you,” I say and his eyes light up with excitement, I thought he’d be terrified. “I’m sorry this is fast but I-”

“Victor, we’ve already spent the afternoon cuddling and said we love each other. I don’t think slow has been our plan from the start…” He laughs and grabs my hand.

“Ok,” I mouth and I start pulling him up the stairs.

“MAMI!” I yell. 

“Ohhhh you must be Benji!” My mom says extending her arms indicating an arm.

“Mami, what were you doing in my room?” I ask.

“Oh I was unpacking for you, you left your bag out by the couch.”

“Oh um, thanks?” I say, sounding like I’m asking a question

“PILAR, ADRIAN, COME MEET VICTORS BOYFRIEEEEEEENDDDD!”

“Mom?!” I yell, blushing now.

“Whaaaat?”  
Benji cuts in, “Very nice to meet you Mrs. Salazar, Victor’s told me great things about you. Except for your pun posters…”

“HAHA! He HATES those!” She replies, “It’s one of the reasons I still put so much effort into making them.”

“Oh my gosh,” I say, cupping my eyes in my hand.

“Oh come on, that’s adorable,” Benji says, My mom puts her hands on her chest like she’s in awe.

“WHO’S THIS?” Adrian shouts.

“This is Victor's boyfriend!” Mami yells.

“Cool, so, what do you plan on doing with my brother?” Pilar asks.

“PILAR!” I scream.

“WHAT! Normally you give all the boys I date this talk and now I finally get to do it to you!” 

“Wait, so they’re dating?” Adrian asks in the sweetest voice.

“Yeah!” Benji yells in a playful voice, “We are.” He’s grabbing my hand now.

“So you guys kiss?” Adrian asks, looking genuinely confused. We’re all laughing.

“Uh, yeah, we do…” Benji’s looking at me with a huge smirk on his face when he says it.

My family sits us down in the living room and deems it necessary to embarrass me some more and I question my decision to introduce him to them. Adrian goes to bed, despite it only being seven, he’d normally wait until 8:30 but was tired so mom tucked him in and returned to the conversation. After Benji tells Pilar and mom some more about his art we’re interrupted by the door opening. It’s Papi.

“What’s he doing here?” He shouts, sounding disgusted.

“I thought you left Armando!” Mami screams at him.

“I did!” He yells back, “I just forgot something, please continue.” He’s speaking to mom in a condescending tone now and I confront him on it.

“Ok, you can be mad at me for being gay but don’t blame mom for it ok? It’s not like it was her decision!” And then I mutter, “or anyones.”  
He rolls his eyes and proceeds to his room to grab something. He slams the bedroom door when he leaves it and as he’s walking towards us he stares down Benji.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU DID THIS!” He shouts, loud enough that he’s probably just woken everyone in the complex up.

“NO HE DIDN’T PAPI! THIS IS JUST ME! DON’T BRING HIM INTO THIS, THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM!” I can’t believe I just did that, I heave a heavy breath and collapse onto the sofa, Benji rests a head on my forehead.

“He feels really warm?” He states, sounding like he’s asking a question. “Like, oddly warm.”

“Here, let me feel,” Mami says, I’m still dazed and I’m hyperventilating slightly. Next thing I know I can’t breathe. 

“Hey! Hey Victor! Come on, breathe, in and out come on,” Benji says as he’s breathing meditatively along with me, “in and out.”

“In an,” I start coughing, “an-an-and out.”  
My breathing has slowed and I catch a brief glimpse of my father rolling his eyes. I want to show him that this is real, that I’m not just ‘pretending,’ to be gay because it’s a fad.

“Thank you,” I say, still breathing heavily, I pull him in to kiss and that’s when I hear Mami gasp and go ‘awwww.’

“See papi, this is,” I can barely put it into words. “Real.”

“Ugh.” That’s all he says, ‘ugh.’ He swings open the front door and slams it behind him.

“I’m so sorry mijo. Benji, thank you but I think Victor should rest, do you have a way home?” Mami asks.

“Uh yeah, yeah I’ll be fine, it was nice to meet you guys. Victor, get some sleep ok?” He tells me and lands a small kiss on my cheek and whispers, “I had a really good time today.”  
I nod and just close my eyes.

“Do you just want to stay here awhile?” Mami asks me and I still can barely speak, my breathing has slowed but I’m still shaking, panicky, and breathing heavily. I nod.

“Pilar can you grab his blanket from his bed?” 

“On it.”

“Just in case you want to sleep,” she whispers to me as she rubs my cheek with her thumb.

“Thank you,” I croak out between massive breaths. Pilar returns with my blanket and rests it on top of me, she sits on the part of the couch where my feet aren’t and my mom in the chair. They sit with me until I drift off to sleep. Pilar rests her head on me and we fall asleep.


	9. See You Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HULU CAMEO LMAO  
> More lowkey short fluff chapter
> 
> Comments gimme feedback :3

I wake up to the TV playing, it’s almost seven, Sunday morning now.

“Morning sleepy-head!” Pilar says. I rub my eyes.

“Morning,” I greet groggily, I sit up ruffling my blanket. “Where’s my phone?”

“Coffee table,” Pilar points to it.

“Why are you watching the news?” I ask

“Only thing on other than Adrian’s cartoons and he’s not up yet so…”

“There’s Netflix? Hulu? Disney+?”

“Meh, nothing interesting.”

“And the news is?”

“Better than rewatching Pretty Little Liars again…”

“Hmm, so what’s the lineup of devastation and destruction this morning?” I ask.

“Child abduction, hurricane, and assault.” She says the sentence like those things are nothing.  
I roll my eyes and chuckle. I look at my phone and I have a bunch of messages. All from Benji.

-7:46 pm-  
B - Just got home

-11:04 pm-  
B - can’t sleep

B - I’m taking your silence as you’re in bed, I’ll call you in the morning, text when you’re awake.

-6:58 am-  
B - Morning <3

V - Morning, just woke up

B - I never slept, couldn’t

V - Why?

B - I was thinking about you, primarily worried, are you alright?

V - Yeah, I’m good now, just needed some rest.

B - Good…

V - Do you wanna come over later? Lunch?

B - I thought you’d never ask! I’ll be there at 11:30?

V - See you then…


	10. 2002

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe listen to '2002 by Anne Marie,' and 'Train Wreck by James Arthur....'
> 
> Or don't, you just might understand it better :/

“Mami?” I call out

“Oh good morning! How’d you sleep?”

“Fine, I um, was wondering if Benji could come over for lunch?”

“Uh, that shouldn’t be an issue, just know I have piano lesson’s starting at 3:00…”

“I thought you stopped after, Texas…”

“I did, but your father is gone and I expect we’ll have to find a new apartment since this is technically signed under Papi’s name as his work hooked us up with it…”

“Wait what? We need to move again??” Pilar shouts.

“What she said,” I reply.

“Look, it is a possibility, but I’m already looking at apartments and I found one just like our old place back in Graham and it’s not bad, price-wise,” She says, putting glasses and plates on the table. I’m wafted by the smell of eggs and bacon.

“Um ok, where is it? Please don’t tell me we’re leaving Creekwood behind too…”

“No, I wouldn’t make you do that AGAIN, it’s in this building, one floor up, it’s smaller but enough room for us. And Pilar, no, you don’t have to share a room, everybody gets their own bedroom, they’re just smaller. Which is why if we have to move I’m thinking of looking into a long-term music teacher position.”

“Okay,” I slouch back into the couch and look at my phone, I stalk Benji’s Instagram, I’m looking at a photo from 2018 and by instinct I double-tap. ‘SHIT!’ I think to myself. I’m silently panicking but then I get a notification from Instagram.  
Benji Campbell liked your photo.  
I click on it and it’s a picture I took at Disney World a year prior

B - It happens when you stalk someone's ig

V - Shut

V - Up

B - Rood

V - :p

V - Also, lunch might be weird, family drama [eye roll emoji]

B - Then I’ll hold your hand and help you through it [heart emoji]

V - Thank you…

B - I’ll see you in a few hours.

V - See you then

* * *

I eat breakfast, shower, and get dressed up nicely. I flop onto my bed and put in earbuds and listen to music for about an hour. I didn’t even realize that I was singing along. I guess after Finn and Benji told me how good my voice was I kinda just sing constantly. Right now I’m listening to Train Wreck by James Arthur which I got hooked on by Benji. Apparently I’m singing loud enough for all to hear because when the song’s over and I open my eyes Pilar and Mami are standing over me in shock.

“I-” I stammer, “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize I was being so lou-”

“No, don’t apologize,” my mom laughs. “That was amazing! I’m speechless.”

“When’d you learn you could do that?!” Pilar yells.

“Few days ago at work, we were cleaning up and I kinda got lost in it and Benji and this new kid Finn were enthralled.”

“That was breathtaking,” Pilar states, putting a hand on my back. I’m blushing now and they ask me to sing more but I’m really uncomfortable. They notice and leave. I’m relieved and still embarrassed. I text Benji and tell him about it.

V - So my family just heard me singing

B - Oh dang, good? I think?

V - I mean, they think I sound great but it really had me embarrassed…

B - Well at least they think you sounded good. So, what’d they hear you singing along to?

V - Train Wreck? Btw thanks for getting me hooked on that, totally not unable to get it outa my head…

B - Okay, first off, very hard song to sing so that says something that you were singing that WELL and also, you’re very welcome ;)

V - I’ll see you soon…

B - [thumbs up emoji]

V - <3

B - <3

* * * *

“Hey!” I say answering the door to see Benji leaning on the doorframe

“Well hello handsome,” He replies, poking up for a quick kiss.

“Oh Benji! Welcome!” mami yells from the kitchen.

“She insisted on eating with us, couldn’t tell her no…” I whisper to him, he replies with a nod and a slight thumbs up.

Lunch was uncomfortable, for me at least. Benji actually impressed me with how he managed his way through all of it. When it’s over he helps mami wash dishes and they talk. About what exactly? I have no idea…  
Pilar is on her phone on the couch and I’m just wandering around the room looking for what to do. Benji quickly is excused by my mother and he comes over to me.

“Hey,” He says

“Hi there,” I say, giving him a light kiss on the cheek trying to keep everything PG since my mom is RIGHT behind us. “Do you wanna go somewhere?”

“Where?”

“I have an idea but, I need to know how much time we have…” I smile at his and wrap my arms around his neck.

“Wait you don’t mean?” He says nodding his head towards our pelvis’.

“What? God no! I mean,” Shit, I just screamed ‘NO I DON’T WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU,’ “Sorry, not what I meant, I do want to but that’s not what my plan was, I had something else in store.”  
He looks at me with a huge smile on his face, “You are so adorable when you get flustered and panicky.”

“Shut up,” I say, pouting slightly, all in good-fun.

* * * *

“So where exactly are you taking me?” Benji asks me. “I feel like we’ve been walking for HOUUUURRRRSS!”

“Benji, it’s barely been twenty minutes, we’re almost there…”

“Ughhhh, you’re killing me here, gimmee a hiinnnntttt!!?” He’s full on yelling now and laughing.

“No no no, you get to boast in that anticipation…”

“I hate you, you know that?”

“I love you too,” I reply, smiling.

* * * *

It’s been 15 minutes and we’re FINALLY HERE! It’s a ring of trees with pebbles covering the ground. I had Benji put on a blindfold five minutes before we arrived and now I remove it.

“Victor this is, wow, how did you find this place?”

“I saw it when we drove to our apartment for the first time. It’s completely isolated, nobody can take it down. Not sure why though, I’m not sure anyone still comes through here to tame it, I think it’s kinda fallen into the hands of people who live around here. BUUUUUUT, I had an idea…”

“Okay now you’re really gonna kill me. Just tell me!”  
I don’t tell him, instead I select a song from my playlist and prop it on one of the empty birdbaths.

“May I have this dance?” I ask, extending my arm out and opening my palm, indicating for him to take it.

“Duh,” He tells me as he puts his hand in mine. The song playing is 2002 by Anne Marie and I start singing along to the words and Benji is smiling at me, we’re both singing now and we’re kind of just moving along with the music, no reason-or-rhyme, just us.

“Dancing on the hood in the middle of the woods  
On an old Mustang, where we sang  
Songs with all our childhood friends  
And it went like this, say  
Oops, I got 99 problems singing bye, bye, bye  
Hold up, if you wanna go and take a ride with me  
Better hit me, baby, one more time, uh  
Paint a picture for you and me  
On the days when we were young, uh  
Singing at the top of both our lungs  
On the day we fell in love  
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh  
On the day we fell in love  
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh.”  
I’m moving my body side-to-side with Benji in front of me facing away from me. I have my arms wrapped around his waist with my hands resting on his thighs.

“So you sing, play basketball, and dance? Wow, seems like I hit the jackpot,” He sighs while turning his head up to face me. “Oh, and I forgot, you’re a really great kisser…” He giggles.

“Oh you ain’t seen nothing,” I reply through a whisper that ends with a laugh.

“Have I now?”

“M-hm, these aren’t the only moves I got,” I say through a chuckle.  
The song ends and he turns his entire person around and is resting his head on my shoulder now. We stay like that for ten minutes before he separates from my embrace.


	11. All In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is somewhat fluffy but there is discussion that is relevant to the story. It's a very VERY short chapter...

I remember that I have school tomorrow and the thought horrifies me a little bit. I text Simon about what I should do because I genuinely have no idea.

Me: Dear Simon, Benji and I are officially a thing. I’m worried about school tomorrow, any solutions?

I proceed to send a very long message summing up all the details from this weekend.

Simon: Hey Vic! Glad to hear that you finally figured all your stuff out… Honestly, the first week is always the hardest for this. The novelty of seeing two guys in the halls showing PDA will blow over fairly quick but you’re sensible to be worried. Not gonna lie, people may make comments, all I can say to you is that it won’t last long, and that you need to remember that there are good things in your life, like Benji. Whenever something bad happens this week or ever, just think of Benji…

Me: That’s actually a really good idea. Thanks Simon… 

Simon: Glad I could be of service.

I proceed to call Benji.  
He answers within two rings of the line.

“Hey,” He answers.

“Hi,” I reply. “So I’ve been thinking and I…” I hesitate and swallow my fear, “I want to be out at school, I want to hold your hand down the hall and kiss you between classes and stand with you looking cliched leaning on my locker. I’m all in if you are.”

“I’d be stupid to refuse…” I can hear him smiling through the line which makes me smile. We stay on the line for almost an hour until I notice that it’s almost eleven and I should probably at least TRY to sleep.

“Goodnight Benji Campbell,” I say

“Goodnight Victor Salazar,” he replies. I love it when we use our full names, it feels cute… Right? I’m not imagining that it sounds cute when really it sounds stupid? Well, regardless, I think it sounds cute so Ima keep doing it.

I toss and turn in my bed for at least thirty minutes before giving up and just putting earbuds in and blasting music into my ears. I select 2002 because it reminds me about earlier today. All my other problems fade and melt away. The only thing on my mind right now is the song, and Benji, and the two of us dancing and singing along to it. Nothing to do with my crumbling family dynamic. Just me, and Benji…


	12. Lunch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating - M - homophobia and light violence :/

Benji sits down at the table that I’m currently sitting at with Felix, Mia, and Lake.

“Hello handsome,” He greets me, leaning in for a kiss that lasts for almost 15 seconds. When we separate our lips I heave a heavy breath.

“Hey there,” I reply with a big ol’ smirk.

“Aww, you guys are like SOOOO cute together,” Lake squeals, grasping her phone in her hand and waving it around. I chuckle and look over at Mia who nods and winks. I’m so glad that everyone was more than okay with all this. 

“We,” I sigh before speaking and patting Benji on the back, “have work today…” I frown.

“Why are you frowning? You don’t want to spend the entire evening serving angry people and laughing at them with me?” He pouts playfully.

“Awww, no.” I’m fully on laughing now and I may actually fall off the bench I’m on. My laughing makes everyone smile and now I feel awkward. I lean in to give him a quick kiss but right before our lips touch I hear something.

“Ugh, fuckin’ fags should save that for when we don’t have to watch,” I hear someone who literally SOUNDS like a cliche jock.

I roll my eyes and continue kissing Benji, mid kiss I flip them off solidly and I hear Lake, Mia, and Felix chuckle. 

“DID YOU NOT HEAR ME FAGGOTS? SAVE THAT FOR WHERE WE DON’T NEED TO SEE!”

I’m about to stand up when Benji grabs my forearm. “Vic, they’re not worth it, believe me if I roughed up every homophobe who made a nasty comment I wouldn’t have fists anymore.”

I roll my eyes and comply, I sit down and as I do.

“Yeah that’s what I thought, pussy…”

“That’s it,” I mumble to myself, I get up from my seat and within seconds I’m staring the guy down right in front of me.

“What’re ya gonna kiss me?”

“Will that make you shut the fuck up?” I ask

“Maybe,” He says, puffing his lips out. 

Benji stands up and walks over to me, “Victor sit down before you do something you don’t want to do,” I turn around and start walking back to the table.

“Yeah that’s right, listen to your little boyfriend!” He shouts, laughing

“That’s it!” I scream, within seconds I feel my fist make contact with his face and he’s on the ground.

“VICTOR!” Benji yells.

I don’t respond, I just wipe my lip and turn back and sit down.  
A minute later Ms. Albright is gesturing for me to join her from the other end of the quad.

“Look I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, I was just trying to-” I get cut off.

“No, no that asshole had it coming, technically there do need to be consequences but they won’t be severe. Part of Creekwoods ‘No tolerance,’ policy allows for the victim to be excused from most if not all repercussions. One day, detention, this Saturday…”

“Alright,” I nod. I feel like collapsing right there but I keep it together.

“Victor, you shouldn’t have done what you did but, in all fairness, I’m glad he got what he had coming…” She whispers as she walks past me.  
I smile and return to our table with only ten minutes left in lunch.

“Victor, next time you need to keep your cool,” Benji says, sounding angry but looking worried.

“Look I’m sorry, but this wouldn’t happen to us if one of us were a girl…”

“Vic, there are gonna be a lot more people like that guy in your life, and yeah, you’re gonna wanna probably rip all of them to shreds but.” He gulps before speaking again, “But you need to learn how to retaliate in a way that DOESN’T involve that.”

“I know, I just. With everything happening it just got to me, it reminded me of my Papi.” I seriously nearly start bawling and everyone takes notice because within three seconds Felix and Mia have come to the side of the table I’m sitting at and Lake leans in to hug. We stay in a group hug as I burst out in internal tears right there. I whimper and they all shh me.”

When the bell rings we disperse and go to our next class. I think about the panic attack I had the weekend prior and I start circling the drain of panic again. I start experiencing dizziness and I guess I fainted because the next thing I see is darkness and feel like I’m numb, like, my whole body just got thrown into a bath full of ice-water. Or as I’ve just left my organic capsule and I’m floating above it. It feels and looks like I’m watching everything unfold from above me.


	13. Nobody Matters Like You

I slant open my eyes and I look around the room briefly. I can already tell that I’m in the nurse's office.

“Victor? Hi,” I hear a male voice coming from behind me. A tall, olive-skinned man with dark swoopy hair and piercing blue eyes is looking at me, standing there in maroon scrubs. “Hi Victor, you fainted out on the quad, I would have done a physical but, you were still unconscious, could you answer some questions for me?”

I nod and he starts asking.

“Ok,” He replies, slightly nodding. “So, do you smoke?”  
I shake my head.  
“Alright,” He puts an ‘x’ in the box next to the questions. “Have you participated in any sexual activity in the last six months?”  
I start to blush slightly and shake my head.  
“Ok, what kinds of physical activities do you usually do, on a weekly basis? And have you done anything unusual this past seven days?”

“Um, I’m on the basketball team, so I train for that, three times a week. I uh, I run, that’s pretty much it…” I still sound ridiculously quiet.

“Alright, anything stressful going on at home or?”

“Uh, there was an incident at lunch today,” I reply.

“Ah yes, I’ve already logged that, I mean more at home, family issues? Arguing, constant neglectfulness, emotional and or physical abuse?”

“My dad he uh, he left after I came out a few days ago. Everyone else is fine with it but I did have a panic attack when he returned to the house on Saturday. If that counts for anything…”

“Oh my, Victor, I think you need to just relax for a bit. You’re going through a really tough time, if you want I have contacts with psychiatrists who may be able to help.”  
I think for a minute, I don’t WANT to do it but I think for my sanity it may be good to at least consider it.

“Um, y-yeah ok, cost?”

“Come again?” He replies as if I said something unearthly

“What would it cost? Money? My family does well but we’re not rich…”

“Oh, no no no this would be free, it’s part of the Creekwood education plan…”

I sigh with relief.

“I can reach out if you want?” He asks me.

I nod and he nods back and gives a brief, barely noticeable smile.

“Can I go to class?” I ask

“Oh, Victor the day is almost over, I’ve been instructed to keep you here, I’ve already called your father but I realize now, probably not the best thing to do.”

I stare at him with worry, “I have to leave.” I’ve fully erected myself so that I’m standing and it feels like my legs might give out.

“Victo-Victor! Sit down!”

“No you don’t understand! If he gets the chance he might do…” I hesitate as I breathe, I feel myself spiraling again. I think of Benji, I think of his smile and it calms me. “He might take me somewhere. Believe me, he will.”

“Legally he can’t take you from the premise, if he does it will be considered a malicious act and he can be charged and tried for kidnapping. It will be OKAY! Sit down!”

I comply as I don’t know how much longer I can stand, “Did you also call my mom?” 

“Yes, I called both your parents…”

I feel better at the thought that at least I have a buffer.  
Within four minutes I see my father in the doorway with a look of concern on his face.

“Aye Victor I-” I can hear his voice cracking and I honestly can’t tell if it’s all an act but I don’t care.

“You know what save it dad, I’m waiting for mom, just go, I know you don’t care…” I start tearing up at the end of my statement.

“Victor what’re you talking about, I care. I was angry okay? I was clouded and upset and I didn’t know what to do I-” I cut him off before he can finish speaking.

“You were so clouded that you left your family? Scared your child? Yeah I wasn’t the only one you pushed over the edge on Saturday!” I’m fully yelling now and it hurts my head.

“Victor I…” He’s crying now and kneeling beside the bed I’m lying in. He reaches for my hand but I instantly pull back when he touches it.

“I have nothing left to say to you, please,” I start crying now, “just go.”

He refuses so I roll my eyes and turn over onto my side and wait. A minute later I hear mom gasp.  
I instantly roll over to face her and see that Papi is STILL here. I think ‘maybe he does care?’ But my thoughts are interrupted.

“AYE VICTOR! I got the call and came straight over, are you okay?!” She cries out at me from across the room.  
I nod.  
“And what are you doing here?” She asks Papi in disgust.

“They called and I dropped what I was doing and came,” he hesitates, “I wanted to apologize. Look I’m”  
He’s cut off

“We can talk about this later,” she says, putting a finger up in his direction, pointing at him but looking at me. I see Papi nod and look at the ceiling, he sits back down and we just stay there. We're there until the bell rings which is only five minutes later and two minutes after that Benji is running in.

“Victor!” He calls out and this snaps my father out of his thoughts. He runs past the three nurses through the way and within seconds he’s bedside from me holding my hand and kneeling on the floor. 

“Hey um, Benji can I speak with you for a minute?” Papi asks, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“No!” I yell, loud enough for everyone in the whole school to hear, probably not but it feels like that. “After Saturday I don’t trust you.”

“Vic, it’s uh, it’s fine I’ll be right back.”

I stare at my dad and give him a glare that (at least I hope) says ‘if you do or say anything that hurts him I swear I will rip you to shreds with my BARE HANDS!’

He turns around, a hand on his back.

*BENJI'S POV!

Victor's dad is gesturing to me for an exit of the room we were previously in and he starts speaking as soon as we’re out of earshot.

“Hey Benji I…” He hesitates before continuing, “I just wanted to apologize.”

He continues talking but I interrupt. “It’s not me you need to apologize to, your son had a panic attack because of you and you just left. You didn’t make sure he was ok, you just left.” I exhale, “You don’t owe me anything, I don’t know you and you don’t know me. The person you should be apologizing to is everyone BUT me…”

“I know I just, I had to. I needed you to know that I didn’t mean what I said, and that I appreciate everything you’ve done.”

I don’t respond, I just nod and turn around to go back to the room and he follows a few steps behind

I re-enter the room and Victor's face lights up. I smile and kneel down next to him stroking his forehead with my hand. We stay like that for five minutes before the nurse comes back. 

“Hi there, so Victor has told me about some of the stressful things in his day-to-day environment and I was hoping that I could speak to you two,” he says, gesturing between his parents. They both nod and follow him out of the room. 

“Benji you need to get to work,” Victors croaks out

“I know but I don’t want to leave you.”

“I’ll be fine. You go, I’ll call you when I’m home. Can you tell Sarah what happened?” He looks at me with doe eyes. I nod. 

“Ok but I’m waiting for your parents to come back…” he smiles, rolls his eyes, and nods.  
It’s a few minutes before they come back. I let go of Victor's hand and set off for Brasstown.  
I really hope he’s okay…

*

Finn came in as soon as we said we needed him. It’s been a slow evening and it’s almost time for close.

“Hey Finn? Can you clean off the tables? I need to make a phone call…” I can feel my phone buzzing and I instantly know who it is, Victor.

“Y-yeah, one sec,” He’s walking over to the table I was just wiping down.  
I nod and mouth thank you and walk into the backroom and answer the phone.

“Hey,” I greet.

“Hi.”

“How’ve you been? Are you feeling better?” I ask him and I don’t notice the worry in my voice until a few seconds later.

“Um, better. I just want to ask, what did my dad say earlier?” He sounds equally as worried.

“He was just apologizing but I told him I’m not the one he should be apologizing to…”

“Hmm, well he won't leave…” He sighs, “despite my constant statement of ‘you don’t have to stay just leave.”

“Vic, nothing excuses what he did but he seems like he’s making a genuine effort, he seemed like it at least…”

“I don’t care, he left, he made his choice, he gets to live with it now.” He sounds triggered.

“Ok, Vic, calm down. You see this? This is exactly what’s making you so stressed. Just, try, please? If not for him then for your own sanity, quite literally your sanity. And if that still doesn’t cut it for you, do it for me?”

“Ughh, you’re lucky I love you so much…”

“Well no duh I’m lucky, but not for that reason,” I say with a huge smirk on my face and I hear him laugh. “And if THAT doesn’t work, I have another stress reliever that may work better.” I’m full-on laughing now and I can literally HEAR him blush.

“Hmm, maybe I’ll take you up on that,” He’s laughing.


	14. As If

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FYI: All chapters that don't have (benjis pov) or (felix's pov) or anything like that are automatically Victors pov, just making sure you know :p

There hasn’t been another incident all week. It’s been fairly normal. Mom is still wrapping her head around everything but assures me that she doesn’t love me any less. I believe her. I know she loves me, and I understand that she needs time. I just wish she didn’t, you know?

I’ve taken up some things to relieve stress and my first psych appointment is tonight with someone named Emily. Emily Spier. I realized that she was Simon's mom the second I saw the referral sheet. I get home from school at about 3:38 and my appointment is at 6:00 so I have two hours.

I text Benji.

V - Hey

B - Hi there…

V - I’m BoReD

B - Me ToOoO

V - lol

B - What’re you doing right now?

V - Listening to music and texting you.

B - what?

V - ?

B - I mean what are you listening to?

V - Oh, uh, Capital Letters by Hailee Steinfeld

B - Great song

V - No duh, Hailee Steinfeld is THE icon 

B - Oh really? I’m still on the James Arthur train. He’s better :p

V - Agree to fucking disagree :)

B - wow…

V - Mhmmm

B - You getting sassy with me?

V - I don’t know, am I?

B - Think you are :3

V - I…

B - You still want to come over tomorrow?

V - Do you not want me to?

B - As if… 

V - Then I’m still coming…

B - Good

V - Is it now?

B - Yes, yes it is

V - Well I’ll see you tomorrow

B - Yes you will, call me when you’re done your appointment

V - Will do <3

B - <3


	15. Emily Spier (Emily's pov)

Victor walks into my office and sits on the chair opposite to the one I’m currently seated in.

“Hi Victor, I’m Emily!” I greet him, gesturing for a handshake.

“Hi,” He waves slightly.

“So I understand that there has been some uh, post-coming-out stress for you.”

“Mhm,” He nods and looks around the room.

“Care to elaborate?” I ask, pulling my notepad off of the desk behind me and grabbing a pen.

“O-ok, I um,” He’s stammering, clearly uncomfortable.

“If you don’t want to recall the events of Monday and well, everything else, you don’t need to. It may just help me to understand where you’re coming from…”

“No-no it’s fine it’s just hard to talk about, especially with someone I don’t really know.”

“Ok, Well, if I tell you a few things about me to break the ice may that make it a little bit less uncomfortable?”  
He nods and so I continue, “alright well let's see, I have a son, who is also gay. He’s in NYU, third year and his name is.” I’m cut off

“Simon,” he says, looking into my eyes, “I’ve uh, yeah I know him.”

“Really?” I ask him, sounding intrigued, “How?”

“Well, on my first day here in Creekwood I heard all about him and Bram. I was feeling crappy about, well everything, and so I messaged him about how lucky he is and ever since he’s been helping me, navigating me through, well, once again, everything.”

“Oh, oh I am so sorry, if it’s uncomfortable talking to me I can refer you to someone else?”

“No, no it’s alright, I think I’d be MORE comfortable talking to you than to some random stranger…”

“Ok, if that works for you then I have no problem. And just so you know, Simon will NEVER know anything that you tell me here unless you tell him yourself, okay? My lips are sealed.”  
He nods and continues to tell me all about his fathers issues, his panic attack, the Monday incident, the fainting, everything. The rest of his week from Tuesday onward was fairly ‘normal.’”

“Well, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot in your more recent past. Although it sounds nice to have had the rest of the week to get used to everything and sort of ‘wind down’ so-to-speak.”

“Ye-yeah, I uh, I’m still worried about our living situation. My family might have to move AGAIN because the apartment is technically my dads but he’s been trying to get forgiven but I’m not ready to do that. Just seeing him is conflicting for me but forgiving is a whole other fight but he’s still trying. Which is…” He rants about his worries for his family for another solid minute and I take notes of the important things to bring up in another session.

“Well it’s nice to see that you’ve sort of been propped back up onto your feet again. In a way.” I reply and he nods. “Well, our hour is almost over but if you’d like we can schedule another?” Once again, he nods and I stand up and walk behind my desk.

“How does the 14th of May work for you?” I ask.  
He replies with, “Yeah, yeah that works.”

“Alright, same time?”  
He nods and says ‘mhm’

I walk him out and after he’s gone I prepare for my last patient. When he finally gets here I greet him, “Hi Kieran!”


	16. Any Time, Day, or Night (Saturday)

I knock on the door and within five seconds Benji opens it.

“Hey,” I say, leaning in to kiss him.

“Hi,” He whispers right before our lips touch. “So, my mom is at work and my dad is helping a friend move soooooo.”

“Hmm, tempting…”

He pulls me into his house by the waist and we go straight to his room. It is exactly how I would’ve imagined it. Band posters covering one wall, art covering another, his bed along one, and a desk opposite of it. There’s a closet on the wall to the right of the desk.  
The desk is covered with pencils and multiple sketchbooks, I can see the outline of a laptop underneath all of it but that’s the only other thing on it. There aren’t any drawers, it’s just a tabletop. Right next to the table though there is a storage unit that probably contains all the things that would go in the desk if it had storage.

“Do you wanna?” He asks, gesturing for the bed.

I nod and lay down.

“Just so we’re clear and we both know, what is our stopping point? We need to determine that now because if we choose later in the heat of the moment, well, clouded judgement…” He’s looking at me as if I’ve waited three years to answer the question.

“Um,” I start blushing, “maybe for now, underwear stays on?” I ask, I feel really embarrassed.

“Ok, and?”

“I-is there more to it?” I really have no idea what he wants.

“Sorry, what do you WANT to happen?” 

“Um, kissing, cuddling. Not sex, not yet…” I seriously just want to cover my face to mask my embarrassment.

“Alright, well, I can work with kissing and cuddling.”

“Oh can you now?” I ask mockingly, chuckling. He’s sitting down on my lap now and leaning down to kiss me. I boost up my face so that our lips meet sooner and I hear him laugh. I roll him off and move so that I’m on top of him now. I move off his lips for a second so I can lift my shirt over my head and lean back down to kiss him again. I feel his hands on my back.   
I can’t help but moan and I continue kissing him. I can feel the hands that were on my bare upper back drop down.

“Is this okay?” He asks between kisses and heavy breaths. I nod indicating yes and we continue. We stay like that for at least fifteen minutes before he separates from me. “Can we take a little break? As much as I’m loving this I need a sec to catch my breath.”

“Yeah, can I?” I ask, leaning my head towards his bare chest suggesting I cuddle in.

“Please,” I lay my head on his chest and sigh. We just cuddle for another fifteen minutes before I ask him something.

“Do you wanna watch something?” I gesture to the iPad on the nightstand next to the bed.

“Oh uh, sure. What?” He’s looking at me with a mysterious glint in his eye.

“Uh, I don’t know?” I start chuckling.

“Hmm, well. There’s this new show about,” I can hear him speaking but everything drowns out by the sight of his perfect lips. I grab the back of his head and pull him in to kiss.

“I change my mind,” I say, I hear him laugh and then grab my arm.

I run my hand through his hair and pull him on top of me. He strokes my face with his forehand and when we finally take a break to catch our breaths he leans his forehead against mine and licks his lips.

We cuddle for at least an hour as he runs a hand through my hair as my head lay on his chest and his other hand on my back. I savour this moment. 

I must have fallen asleep because when I open my eyes again it’s 4:26

“Did I fall asleep?” I question groggily.

“Maybe a little?” He says, laughing as he scrolls through his phone.

“What’re you looking at?” 

“Nooooootttthhhhiiiiiinnnnngggggg…” He says it like he’s hiding something, but playfully. I snatch his phone to see him looking at a post of mine from two years ago. He looks at me and laughs.

“You little fucking stalker,” I say laughing.

“I’m sorry, did Victor Salazar just swear?”

“Yeah, he did…” I say teasingly, lifting my head up to kiss him. I step off the bed and pull my shirt on and Benji does the same.  
I think about how great today, and how I would do anything to spend every spare minute with him. I look at him and smile.

“What are you looking at?” He asks, teasingly.

“Oh, I can’t admire my half-naked boyfriend pulling a shirt on?” 

“Well you can…” He pauses, “But, you DID look like you were plotting a murder so…”

“I DID NOT!” I say, slapping him with my sweater that I still haven’t put on.

“Did so,” He laughs and grabs my waist and kisses me nice and slow. 

I love this boy...


End file.
